Millennial Midlife
Mar. 28th, 2026 07:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skimmed_miilk posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
findingfriends Is there an interesting story behind your username? Not really, it's just a play on the phrase "no point crying over spilled milk" but skimmed as I was on a weight loss attempt at the time. I actually kind of hate it now, and I'm considering buying a rename token. My current name was also a rename from the original YoungAcidia that I wrote under when I started this journal way back in 2002.
Location and language(s): West of Scotland, near Loch Lomond. I only speak English, despite a short-lived attempt to learn Spanish.
Age range: Early 40's
Hot button/deal breaker issues that will likely lead to unfriending: My journal is my space to be me, and so I have no interest in sharing it with those who don't support reproductive rights, feminism, freedom of gender or sexual identity, anti-fascism, anti-colonialism, a free Palestine and Ukraine, green policies, a universal basic income, socialism...you get the jist.
Do you have an "About Me" post new friends can read to get a sense of who you are, the people you talk about regularly, etc.? Not currently, but I'll perhaps write one if I find new friends.
Is your profile up-to-date or at all useful? I did tweak it a little recently, I'm not sure how useful it is. I suppose it gives a little flavour?
List a few things you think it's important new friends know about you right away: I'm a mum of three, nonna of (soon-to-be) two, dog mum. I work for a humanitarian charity, in retail. I live with depression and low self-esteem, and have done my whole life. I experienced a messy divorce with infidelity and financial abuse - it's in the past but these things shape a person. I have an incredible circle of family and friends. I don't always like to act my age. I share my home with a ridiculous amount of books.
You mostly write about: Daily life; my everlasting struggle against my natural inclination towards hibernating on my sofa; books and films I've consumed; weight training and weight loss; finding myself in midlife.
You never or very rarely write about: I'm not a fandom-er. I have dabbled in writing fiction, but it's not based on any existing IPs. I would like to get back into it, and if I do I'll share it but that hasn't happened yet.
Is your journal mostly public, locked, or a mix of public and locked? It's access-only. It's just so I at least get introduced to whoever is reading, but I'm not necessarily private. I doubt anyone I know in real life would be interested or even know Dreamwidth exists, so I feel pretty free to say what I want. I just prefer the idea that I'm having a conversation rather than being overheard...if that makes sense. I've maybe made my oldest entries fully locked, just from a cringe point of view as I was just a dumb kid when I started this journal, but I can't remember and don't really care.
Do you use filters for certain types of posts (e.g. fandom-related posts, or posts about sex, or mental health issues, etc.)? Not filters, but I will use a cut if I'm going into detail about something that I think might be triggering for some. For me, that's mainly when I talk about weight loss, which I don't do very often anyway.
Your posting frequency (e.g. daily, every few days, weekly, etc.): Since coming back to this journal this year, it's been at least weekly. I'm hoping to be more frequent, but finding time isn't always easy.
Does your journal frequently include any of the following: memes, linkspams, gifs, photos, videos, etc? Not often, I can't be arsed with the faff of uploading, linking, etc. But if I do include things like that, they go under a cut.
What do you enjoy most about journaling? Chronicling life, and just getting the chance to be with my thoughts and get them out. I'm quite a solitary person a lot of the time, but even then we all need a way to talk about things. My journal is often the place for that.
How often do you read your friends list (e.g. daily, every other day, once a week, etc.)? Probably weekly, after I've written a post. I'm not as good at commenting as I used to be, but I'm working on it as I want to get back to how this journal used to be, with dialogue and community. Harder these days since the death of LJ and journaling in general, especially with people my own age.
You really enjoy reading about: Those also figuring out this stage of life, those who get personal about the things they're living through, reviews of books, rants, takes on the culture, women's issues.
You have very little interest in reading about: Fandoms...sorry!
Your thoughts on journals that regularly include any of the following: memes, linkspams, gifs, photos, videos, etc? Your journal is your space, so crack on. But they have to be a backdrop to your thoughts to get me interested, rather than the only things you post.
When it comes to comments on your posts, what matters more -- quality or quantity? I'd like to know at least someone is reading, but I'd rather someone commented because they have something to say rather than just the Dreamwidth equivalent of a like.
Do you unfriend people who don't comment much, even if you know they are reading you regularly? No. Although how would I know they're reading...? I generally only unfriend people if I really don't gel with their journal and feel we have absolutely no common ground.
What is your approach when it comes to commenting on other journals? As I said, I'm not as good at it as I want to be. Some of that is because, since moving from LJ, I don't feel I've built up a rapport with folks. And that's on me, as I'm a a bit shy, awkward and avoidant. But I'm working on it...I perhaps need coaxed out of my shell.
When you friend someone, but things don't really click, do you unfriend them without warning, or do you send them a note first? How do you prefer to be unfriended in similar circumstances? I wouldn't announce it. I think if you aren't clicking, then it's obvious as there is just no interaction at all, so I doubt if either of us would even notice. I have unfriended people in the past who then still wanted to read my posts, and I'm cool with adding them back if that's the case. But it's a case of no hard feelings - if someone doesn't want me reading them, then that's their prerogative - journals should be safe, comfortable spaces.
AND LASTLY
Friending memes often ask people to list their favourite TV shows, movies, books, etc., but more often than not, those aren't things people actually write about in their journal. Do you have any favourite TV shows, movies, books, etc., that you DO often write about -- not necessarily in a fandom sort of way, just in general? Not really. I just like writing about what I've read or watched as and when it comes up. A flavour of what that could be is that I'm more drawn to human experiences like motherhood, marriage breakdown, female friendship, migration, mental health. Maybe with a little sprinkling of magical realism or dystopia too. I'm an indie kid at heart, and that's probably reflected in my listening, reading and watching tastes. My interests in my profile include some favourites of all these things.
Any final thoughts you'd like to share with potential new friends? I feel journaling online is a dying art, so those of us still here need to find each other. If I've sparked your interest, give me an add and I'll follow you back. We can try each other out, see if we fit.
Location and language(s): West of Scotland, near Loch Lomond. I only speak English, despite a short-lived attempt to learn Spanish.
Age range: Early 40's
Hot button/deal breaker issues that will likely lead to unfriending: My journal is my space to be me, and so I have no interest in sharing it with those who don't support reproductive rights, feminism, freedom of gender or sexual identity, anti-fascism, anti-colonialism, a free Palestine and Ukraine, green policies, a universal basic income, socialism...you get the jist.
Do you have an "About Me" post new friends can read to get a sense of who you are, the people you talk about regularly, etc.? Not currently, but I'll perhaps write one if I find new friends.
Is your profile up-to-date or at all useful? I did tweak it a little recently, I'm not sure how useful it is. I suppose it gives a little flavour?
List a few things you think it's important new friends know about you right away: I'm a mum of three, nonna of (soon-to-be) two, dog mum. I work for a humanitarian charity, in retail. I live with depression and low self-esteem, and have done my whole life. I experienced a messy divorce with infidelity and financial abuse - it's in the past but these things shape a person. I have an incredible circle of family and friends. I don't always like to act my age. I share my home with a ridiculous amount of books.
You mostly write about: Daily life; my everlasting struggle against my natural inclination towards hibernating on my sofa; books and films I've consumed; weight training and weight loss; finding myself in midlife.
You never or very rarely write about: I'm not a fandom-er. I have dabbled in writing fiction, but it's not based on any existing IPs. I would like to get back into it, and if I do I'll share it but that hasn't happened yet.
Is your journal mostly public, locked, or a mix of public and locked? It's access-only. It's just so I at least get introduced to whoever is reading, but I'm not necessarily private. I doubt anyone I know in real life would be interested or even know Dreamwidth exists, so I feel pretty free to say what I want. I just prefer the idea that I'm having a conversation rather than being overheard...if that makes sense. I've maybe made my oldest entries fully locked, just from a cringe point of view as I was just a dumb kid when I started this journal, but I can't remember and don't really care.
Do you use filters for certain types of posts (e.g. fandom-related posts, or posts about sex, or mental health issues, etc.)? Not filters, but I will use a cut if I'm going into detail about something that I think might be triggering for some. For me, that's mainly when I talk about weight loss, which I don't do very often anyway.
Your posting frequency (e.g. daily, every few days, weekly, etc.): Since coming back to this journal this year, it's been at least weekly. I'm hoping to be more frequent, but finding time isn't always easy.
Does your journal frequently include any of the following: memes, linkspams, gifs, photos, videos, etc? Not often, I can't be arsed with the faff of uploading, linking, etc. But if I do include things like that, they go under a cut.
What do you enjoy most about journaling? Chronicling life, and just getting the chance to be with my thoughts and get them out. I'm quite a solitary person a lot of the time, but even then we all need a way to talk about things. My journal is often the place for that.
How often do you read your friends list (e.g. daily, every other day, once a week, etc.)? Probably weekly, after I've written a post. I'm not as good at commenting as I used to be, but I'm working on it as I want to get back to how this journal used to be, with dialogue and community. Harder these days since the death of LJ and journaling in general, especially with people my own age.
You really enjoy reading about: Those also figuring out this stage of life, those who get personal about the things they're living through, reviews of books, rants, takes on the culture, women's issues.
You have very little interest in reading about: Fandoms...sorry!
Your thoughts on journals that regularly include any of the following: memes, linkspams, gifs, photos, videos, etc? Your journal is your space, so crack on. But they have to be a backdrop to your thoughts to get me interested, rather than the only things you post.
When it comes to comments on your posts, what matters more -- quality or quantity? I'd like to know at least someone is reading, but I'd rather someone commented because they have something to say rather than just the Dreamwidth equivalent of a like.
Do you unfriend people who don't comment much, even if you know they are reading you regularly? No. Although how would I know they're reading...? I generally only unfriend people if I really don't gel with their journal and feel we have absolutely no common ground.
What is your approach when it comes to commenting on other journals? As I said, I'm not as good at it as I want to be. Some of that is because, since moving from LJ, I don't feel I've built up a rapport with folks. And that's on me, as I'm a a bit shy, awkward and avoidant. But I'm working on it...I perhaps need coaxed out of my shell.
When you friend someone, but things don't really click, do you unfriend them without warning, or do you send them a note first? How do you prefer to be unfriended in similar circumstances? I wouldn't announce it. I think if you aren't clicking, then it's obvious as there is just no interaction at all, so I doubt if either of us would even notice. I have unfriended people in the past who then still wanted to read my posts, and I'm cool with adding them back if that's the case. But it's a case of no hard feelings - if someone doesn't want me reading them, then that's their prerogative - journals should be safe, comfortable spaces.
AND LASTLY
Friending memes often ask people to list their favourite TV shows, movies, books, etc., but more often than not, those aren't things people actually write about in their journal. Do you have any favourite TV shows, movies, books, etc., that you DO often write about -- not necessarily in a fandom sort of way, just in general? Not really. I just like writing about what I've read or watched as and when it comes up. A flavour of what that could be is that I'm more drawn to human experiences like motherhood, marriage breakdown, female friendship, migration, mental health. Maybe with a little sprinkling of magical realism or dystopia too. I'm an indie kid at heart, and that's probably reflected in my listening, reading and watching tastes. My interests in my profile include some favourites of all these things.
Any final thoughts you'd like to share with potential new friends? I feel journaling online is a dying art, so those of us still here need to find each other. If I've sparked your interest, give me an add and I'll follow you back. We can try each other out, see if we fit.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-03-28 10:15 am (UTC)