Finding Friends

Is there an interesting story behind your username? Not really! I just needed a punny name, and this was the first one that came to mind. I think it fits me well because I'm a math nerd, I love things that are complex and weird and layered and contradictory, and I have an irreverent sense of humor.

Location and language(s): I am currently located in Los Angeles, and my first language is English. I am also semi-fluent in German and know a little bit of Spanish, Mandarin, and Yiddish.

Age range (e.g 20s, 30s, etc.): 30s

Hot button/deal breaker issues that will likely lead to unfriending: Any kind of cruelty, mean-spiritedness, and/or bullying. Make no mistake, I'm not one to worry about making sure everyone feels nice and comfy all the time. There are times when discomfort and confrontation are good and necessary. My problem comes in when I get the sense that someone is getting off on it. Getting their jollies from shoving someone else's face in the dirt. Nothing makes me madder than a small, petty motherfucker on a power trip.

Do you have an "About Me" post new friends can read to get a sense of who you are, the people you talk about regularly, etc.? My most detailed existing "About Me" is from my DeviantArt, where I describe myself as a "Digital & occasionally traditional illustrator specializing in horror of the psychological, body, scifi, feminist, psychedelic, surreal, and existential varieties. Lover of filth and all things morbid." That should be enough to decide if you're intrigued or if we're not gonna click. If you're still reading, I will expand on that by saying I am also a writer (fanfic, poetry, and plays). I'm specifically interested in connecting with other fan artists and writers on this site, particularly older folks (30+) in smaller and more obscure fandoms. I have a background in academic philosophy and do a lot of philosophy-posting as well as fandom meta that draws on philosophy. I'm a SFF nerd, with a strong bias toward the scifi end of the spectrum. My favorite scifi subgenres are anything psychological that deals with identity (I'm very partial to all manner of robots, androids, AI, replicants, clones, computer-based minds, and the like) and spacetime fuckery. Most of my more fantasy-geared interests are related to D&D. I am ALWAYS down to play D&D, if any of you run oneshots or campaigns over Discord! I also love Brazilian jiu-jitsu and train five or six times a week, so you will probably hear me talk about that a lot! I don't really pay attention to it at the professional level, though, so you won't hear me talk much about that - just my own training. 

Is your profile up-to-date or at all useful? Yup

List a few things you think it's important new friends know about you right away: I am neurodivergent (shocker, on this site!?), specifically ADHD inattentive type with some pretty serious executive dysfunction issues that I work really hard on. Sometimes that can make me come off flaky or unreliable, but I am absolutely not. I can be flighty as an acquaintance, but once we are officially FRIENDS, I am absolutely ride-or-die. I struggle with mood stability and go through up periods and down periods. When I'm depressed, I can be quite whiny and wallowing, but I have developed a lot of skills for avoiding and getting out of those pits, and I'm continuing to work on it. I'm generally in a good place these days, but occasionally things can throw me off balance for a minute. I definitely don't make my negativity anyone else's problem during these times, but sometimes I will vent on my blog about feeling crappy and be kind of useless for a few days until I straighten myself out.

You mostly write about: Existential stuff. Sad stuff. Difficult stuff. Bittersweet stuff. How to go on existing in a world that's full of horrors. People dealing with (or not dealing with) the darkness inside themselves. People who become better. People who become worse. People who find connection with each other. People who try and fail. People who fall into dark pits and climb back out of them, and people who fall in and never get out. Understanding them. Understanding the world we live in. Bearing witness. Appreciating beauty. Coming to terms. Finding peace. Making a path for oneself.

You never or very rarely write about: Domestic bliss, uncomplicated romance

Is your journal mostly public, locked, or a mix of public and locked? A mix. I usually lock stuff that is more personal just because I figure people who aren't following already won't be particularly interested in the picayune of my inner life.

Do you use filters for certain types of posts (e.g. fandom-related posts, or posts about sex, or mental health issues, etc.)? No

Your posting frequency (e.g. daily, every few days, weekly, etc.): Not sure. If I make some real friendships on here, I will probably be around more regularly than if I'm just occasionally going back and forth with friendly acquaintances. Probably 1-2 times a week currently, but that could change up in the future.

Does your journal frequently include any of the following: memes, linkspams, gifs, photos, videos, etc? No. Maybe the occasional photo, but it's mostly text so far.

What do you enjoy most about journaling? The possibility that there might be people who are interested in my life and things I have to say.

How often do you read your friends list (e.g. daily, every other day, once a week, etc.)? Every day or two

You really enjoy reading about: Certain types of fandom meta (I'm a sucker for a deep analysis, especially character analysis, ESPECIALLY underappreciated character analysis), philosophy, ideas in general, humor, psychology, theory, just overall humanities nerd shit as well as some STEM nerd shit.

You have very little interest in reading about: Some aspects of politics. I am past a point of caring about, "OMG did you hear what Trump said?!" I am interested in following bigger-picture stuff, but the petty day-to-day drama wears me the fuck out, and I'm over it.

Your thoughts on journals that regularly include any of the following: memes, linkspams, gifs, photos, videos, etc? I haven't been around here long enough to really appreciate what any of that means. I'll have to figure it out as I go. I don't know what "linkspam" is but I don't like the word "spam" being in there. And if you post a video, I probably won't watch it unless you really hook me with your lead-in (unless I've gotten to know you well enough to know you always post gold).

When it comes to comments on your posts, what matters more -- quality or quantity? Quality

Do you unfriend people who don't comment much, even if you know they are reading you regularly? No

What is your approach when it comes to commenting on other journals? If I have something to say, I say it.

When you friend someone, but things don't really click, do you unfriend them without warning, or do you send them a note first? How do you prefer to be unfriended in similar circumstances? It depends. If things just never took off with us and we've had zero interactions for months, I'll probably do a quiet unfriend.

AND LASTLY

Friending memes often ask people to list their favourite TV shows, movies, books, etc., but more often than not, those aren't things people actually write about in their journal. Do you have any favourite TV shows, movies, books, etc., that you DO often write about -- not necessarily in a fandom sort of way, just in general? The things listed under my interests are the things you can probably expect me to talk about at some point or other. List is subject to change, but currently includes: Alien, Blade Runner, Claire North, C.J. Cherryh, David Cronenberg, Dark, Dimension 20, The Expanse, Gillian Flynn, Junji Ito, Naoki Urasawa's Monster, Ted Chiang, and The OA. I will probably talk about lots of books, movies, and shows as I read/watch them.

Any final thoughts you'd like to share with potential new friends? My favorite quote from my favorite book, The Ethics of Ambiguity by Simone de Beauvoir:

"Morality resides in the painfulness of an indefinite questioning...what distinguishes the tyrant from the man of good will is that the first rests in the certainty of his aims, whereas the second keeps asking himself, 'Am I really working for the liberation of all men? Isn't this end contested by the sacrifices through which I aim at it?'"